| An
airplane was about to crash, and there were 5 passengers left, but only 4 parachutes. The
first passenger, Bill Clinton said, "I am President of the United States, and I have
a great responsibility, being the leader of nearly 300 million people, and a superpower,
etc." So he takes the first parachute, and jumps out of the plane. The second passenger, said, I'm Antoine Walker, one of the best NBA Basketball players, and the Boston Celtics need me, so I can't afford to die." So he takes the second parachute, and leaves the plane. The third passenger, Hillary Clinton, said "I am the wife of the President of the United States, and soon to be New York Senator, and I am the smartest woman in the world." So she takes the third parachute and exits the plane. The fourth passenger, the Old man, says to the fifth passenger, a 10 year old boy scout, "I am old and frail and I don't have many years left, so a as Christian gesture and a good deed, I will sacrifice my life and let you have the last parachute. The boy scout said, "It's Ok, there's a parachute left for you. The world's smartest woman took my backpack." |
| Two Sisters Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch. Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble. In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a bull so that they can breed their own stock. The brunette balances their checkbook, then takes their last $600 dollars out west to another ranch where a man has a prize bull for sale. Upon leaving, she tells her sister, "If I decide to buy the bull, I'll contact you to come and haul it home." The brunette arrives at the man's ranch, inspects the bull, and decides she does want to buy it. The man tells her that he can sell it for $599, no less. After paying him, she drives to the nearest town to send her sister a telegram to tell her the news. She walks into the telegraph office, and says, "I want to send a telegram to my sister telling her that I've bought a bull for our ranch. I need her to hitch the trailer to our pickup truck and drive out here so we can haul it home." The telegraph operator explains that he'll be glad to help her, then adds, "It's just 99 cents a word." Since the brunette only has $1 left, she'll only be able to send her sister one word. After thinking for a few minutes, she nods, and says, "I want you to send her the word, 'COMFORTABLE.'" The telegraph operator shakes his head. "How is she ever going to know that you want her to hitch the trailer to your pickup truck and drive out here to haul that bull back to your ranch if you send her the word, 'COMFORTABLE'?" The brunette explains, "My sister's blonde, "She'll read it very slow." |
| The priest in a small Irish village was very fond of the
chickens he kept in the hen house out the back of the parish rectory.
He had a cock rooster and about ten hens. One Saturday night the cock rooster was missing and the priest suspected that was the time the cock fights occurred in the village. So he decided to do something about it at church the next morning. At Mass, he asked the congregation, "Has anybody got a cock?" All the men stood up. "No, No," he said, "that wasn't what I meant. Has anybody seen a cock?" All the women stood up. "No, No," he said, "that wasn't what I meant. Has anybody seen a cock that doesn't belong to them?" Half the women stood up. "No, No," he said, "that wasn't what I meant. Has anybody seen my cock?" All the altar boys stood up...... |
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